New Year's Resolutions

So...everyone keeps asking me, "What's your New Year's resolution?". And I keep thinking, what't the point?. I don't know how I feel about those--pointless I think. I kind of want to make a change and I want to start over in 2008, but there is so much left over from 2007 that I have to finish.

So...I've decided. No New Year's Resolution...unless I've finished EVERYTHING I need to finish in one situation conveniently in time for the new year. If I make a resolution it's because I've completed or resolved all things in the my current situation.

Thus, I guess once I patch everything up with him I can move on in the relationship arena. I can allow myself to feel again and maybe love again...in the far future. I'm not sure I'm all the way back or if it's just the comfort of home that's allowing me to deal so well. Or it could be the fact that I still have someone to talk to everyday. I don't know, but I'm grateful. I'm grateful that I'm not crying everyday, though I do cry. And I'm grateful I'm not losing my mind missing him, though I miss him like hell. I just learned to deal. I just learned to block it out until I'm going to sleep. Thats the worst.

I lay in the bed, even if I'm on the phone with someone else, and all I can think about is him. I think about our conversations and everything that had become norm for me. All the little things he'd say or not say that signaled so much for me. I wish I could just have him back for sleep. I've not rested since we broke up and I try to pretend it's not true. Jesus. Now I'm missing him. I digress.

So...basically, no new year's resolutions. I'll only make resolutions once I've resolved situations. And that's life. That's how I'll manage.

I'll go write a song or two now...

Later kids.

Love.Live.Music

Mwa.