Go Ahead...Do You.

I'm learning to sleep with0ut you, be without you but I doubt you care...

I'm not sure where life is taking us. We are up and down. We are everywhere, but what I do know is this: he still loves me. He was so hurt yesterday and I wanted to do something, say something or just be able to tell the truth. I couldn't. Telling him why meant telling everything and I'm not ready for that. I don't know if I will ever be. I will be punished for this great sin, but I don't know what else to do.

I'm trying to motivate myself in this field of study, but nothing is working. Everday, out side of my room, I feel motivated. Yet, once I'm left alone with my thoughts I am easily persuaded against all motivation I feel. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid to just say I want to do something else and I'm even afraid to try this. Because I never envisioned I'd be a journalist for the rest of my life. I want to be a musician, but it seems this dream is slipping away...and that scares me. I'm having doubts and I cannot understand how to suppress them. I want to be a musician...go for it. I have to.

I digress...Life is going ok. Giving that struggle to God, because I cannot handle it. I cannot deal with it. I cannot be this person anymore, that is all I know.

Well I'm off to see the wizard and maybe go clean up...doubtfully.

Well
Later kids.

Much Love

Love.Live.Music

Mwa